my lil one...

u,ap yg u tulis sgt2 buat i terharu sgt...i sayang u...n betullah u love me more than i do...be good ok sayang

hi. syg...miss u so much....i really miss u alot...i thinking about us a lot syg

..

hon..do u want ur own family?u want ur own kids? hmm..i cant give that to u..i sedar tu..i know one day you want someone who can take care of u..i can take care of u sayang..but if u wish that person is ur child, i cant give u that..byk i fikir skrg syg..our situation now making me realize how selfish i am of u..u give me a hint already on how one day , we r not going to be together..i just realize it now.

miss u

sayang....i miss u..i wait for ur call today u tau x....i miss u so damn much

harder

hi hon..lama sgt i rasa x update blog ni utk syg...i xde la bz sgt..it just that i really miss u.. tiap hari sabtu i xkan tido lepas balik kerja sbb i tggu panggilan dr syg...assalamualaikum dr syg dah cukup buat i org paling bahagia..i just have to wait 10 month lagi for u..i wist time fly faster,.. i really miss u..hmm

hon..now i really into lesbian reading and all..im a bit obsessed with it..i tau yg u nk brubah, u nk i brubah..but i still dont get the calling..i xkn halang u syg..u nk brubah, go ahead.. ill try my best utk halang perasaan dan nafsu i utk u..ill try.,but please hon jgn paksa i..bukan i x nk brubah..tp i xnk paksaan u buat i jauh dr u...if that the way u want me to keep a distance, bukan mcm tu caranya.. just twll me and ill be gone ..i sayang u more than my life..more than anything..ill let u go bila u dah ok without me.. 

jgn salah faham sayang..i xpenah kat sini , xkesah how lonely i am, ill never flirt or find anyone to fill the loneliness.. i love u..i wont replace u dgn sesapa pun. i truly love you

its been a while..

hi sayang..i x sure yg i akan bagi syg baca atau x everything yg i tulis utk syg..or maybe syg will forever xkan tau..

i know its been a while and kekadang je i tulis dedication utk sayang..ntah la mcm2 sgt otak ni nk fikir..u know how hard is it for me to write this and at the same time killing myself missing u? u know how lost i am now.? xde org nk larang i buat apa pun..pkul brapa i kuar, pg mana dengan siapa..family i xde syg..and they dont care..i xtau ap yg hold i utk jgn makin jauh lost i..may be remembring u all the time keep me going..u keep me sane for know. i dont know how long..

bila i fikir about our relationship, it make me happy, it make me sad, and it make me mad. it make me happy coz i have u, it make me sad coz i cant have u, it make me mad coz u never be mine, no matter what i do. 

bila life kita go on nnti, how we going to live sayang? together? or u stick with ur family n i stick with mine..? i make wrong doing to you, and i dont want to hurt u. u meeting my family is a mistake. im sorry sayang..ill never ask u to choose but one time later in ur life , u have to choose. u know its not the way to live.

u told me right yg u nk berubh, bawa i skali. , xkan tinggal i,.. how right are u? is that just a word from u ? i can change.. but i cant promise i will change how i feel about myself.. even i dont admit it to the world, GOd know,and ill keep lying to myself..

u jauh.. u syg i..and at one time i know yg u fikir i sayang i sebab nafsu..u wrong..bcoz if sex is what i want from u, i can have it from anyone else.. i want u. and that is my problem sayang..

sometimes bila u kol, u talk about ur family, ask anout me too ..bila i ckp i miss u, u jawab x nk jawab. u know how i die a little inside bila u jawab x nk jawab je when i said i miss u damn much?bila u lupa nk wish brthday i yg dah lpas?bila i ckp how stress i am?

tiap kali i melawat u, i pandang u, and u didnt look back, u tau x betapa sedeh nya i. seriously syang..u buat i hilang semangat nk jumpa u lagi..tp i rindu u sgt..i need to see your face even just for a minute.

i made up my mind sayang..bila u dah btol2 berubah , and your love for me has changed to friendship, ill let u go.. we can be frend, but we cant be close fren, becoz it will give me hope, that thing will be back as it is.that is how much i love u. 

sadden

baby...im sad..know why? until now i never get a birthday wishes from u..i tot masa u kol i haritu, u will wish me..maybe u forgot..but i never ever think my birthday is important, it just that when u came to my life, u make me important...but i dont know...

u make my day

sayang..thanks for calling me yesterday... i miss u..its been a month since i heard ur voice..i miss it.

sayang

hon...its my birthday today...im waiting for ur wishes.but i guess im not getting it..i miss u..its been so long...u have to call me sayang.please

call me ..im waiting

sayang..i really miss u and ill wait for yr call..hmm..i thought yesterday akan ade kol dr u..i kept waiting tp smpai arini xde.. i miss u damn much syg...its hard to write here now.. i miss u damn much

hi hon..kiss kiss,..

hmm.. i really miss u sayang..the more i see u the more i feel hurt without u here..hmm..xtau la apa i nk buat sepa jang i tggu syg nii

torn

sayang..arini lepas dah satu hari dr date i jumpa sayag..hmm..i byk fikir pasal kita sayang..i mnta maaf i x jadi sebaik yang u mintak..i cuba..tp i xde org pun yg guide i.. xde org nk larang i pegi mana..nk buat ap..kalau weekend i balik lewat pun, xde org tanya i...i cuba igt pesanan u..sekarg solat i pun lubang2.. hmm..kat tempat keje selalu i lost..i bz sgt buat keje smpai tlupa solat..i bersyukur u dapat berubah..i ni x tau lah.... so far iman i kuat lagi untuk x cuba bnda pelik2.. i masih ingat sapa i sayang..i xde nk cari lain utk isi masa lapang...i xpnah buka hati i utk org lain..walaupun sayang i ni kat u salah kat mata tuhan, i nak tau, i syg u sebab i rasa selesa dengan u, i can tell anything, share anything without worry being judge, i nk protect u, i nak u kat sisi i., i nak jaga u..kalau bole seumur hidup i.. tp bila smlam u ckp i u doa i utk dpt cari org lain yg trbaik utk i, maksudnya u boleh lpaskan i?..hmm..kalau u rasa dia baik, dia sopan, hormat org, u rasa dia terbaik utk i? .. i x pnah fikr utk tggal u sbb org lain..i pnah fkir nak tinggal u ,bila u dah berubah, bila u sendri yg jumpa lelakimterbaik utk hidup u, sbb i x dpt nk tipu dr sendri bila i tgk u bahagia dgn org lain. but the time hasnt come yet.. we'll see what happen..u ckp u nk jdi kawan baik i selamanya, tp i xpernah anggap u kawan. i just make you my only one..i x tau bnyk mana lagi entry boleh i tulis, sbb everytime i tulis, i'll think about how much u pray for us to be away in future, and what i think aboul all the time is our future

sayang..

arini i jumpa u...rasa rindu sgt2 kau , baby..hmmm......please september..hurry up ..i want u

sayang..muaah..i rasa i mimpi syg smalam...i mimpi syg same2 ngan. jalan2.. and u mmg i pnya..hmm..kita cuti sama2 ..hmm x sbar nya sayang

love.. i rindu u syg... rindu sgt baby..hmm..10 month to go syg

sayang

baby syg!!

lama nya x dgr sore syg..miss u so damn much..miss ur scent syg..hmm..i wish u call me now..i want u badly

love

hi love...i pening syg..i ada inteview esok..ntah apa keje pun i xtau..tp i pg jea la tgk camne kan syg. i love u.. see u next week tau syg

miss

sayang..so damn tired..i baru balik keje syg..smlm drive balik ke kl dr kg..pnt trus mlm pg keje..i miss u syg..ill dream of u k.. i will

hari raya haji

hi love..arini hari raya korban...hmmm..

so lonely without u syg...

xde u, i rasa dr i brubah..i prefer to be alone.. always..im not happy..i laugh for sure but im not truly happy, thinking about u so far away from me.. nothing make me happy like u make me ..

oh baby how much i want u right now syg

hi my love..i miss u so much..

its been a while since kita jumpa ogos aritu..2 month have passed tau syg...less than 11 month kita akan sama2.. x sbar syg..i love u