i know its been a while and kekadang je i tulis dedication utk sayang..ntah la mcm2 sgt otak ni nk fikir..u know how hard is it for me to write this and at the same time killing myself missing u? u know how lost i am now.? xde org nk larang i buat apa pun..pkul brapa i kuar, pg mana dengan siapa..family i xde syg..and they dont care..i xtau ap yg hold i utk jgn makin jauh lost i..may be remembring u all the time keep me going..u keep me sane for know. i dont know how long..
bila i fikir about our relationship, it make me happy, it make me sad, and it make me mad. it make me happy coz i have u, it make me sad coz i cant have u, it make me mad coz u never be mine, no matter what i do.
bila life kita go on nnti, how we going to live sayang? together? or u stick with ur family n i stick with mine..? i make wrong doing to you, and i dont want to hurt u. u meeting my family is a mistake. im sorry sayang..ill never ask u to choose but one time later in ur life , u have to choose. u know its not the way to live.
u told me right yg u nk berubh, bawa i skali. , xkan tinggal i,.. how right are u? is that just a word from u ? i can change.. but i cant promise i will change how i feel about myself.. even i dont admit it to the world, GOd know,and ill keep lying to myself..
u jauh.. u syg i..and at one time i know yg u fikir i sayang i sebab nafsu..u wrong..bcoz if sex is what i want from u, i can have it from anyone else.. i want u. and that is my problem sayang..
sometimes bila u kol, u talk about ur family, ask anout me too ..bila i ckp i miss u, u jawab x nk jawab. u know how i die a little inside bila u jawab x nk jawab je when i said i miss u damn much?bila u lupa nk wish brthday i yg dah lpas?bila i ckp how stress i am?
tiap kali i melawat u, i pandang u, and u didnt look back, u tau x betapa sedeh nya i. seriously syang..u buat i hilang semangat nk jumpa u lagi..tp i rindu u sgt..i need to see your face even just for a minute.
i made up my mind sayang..bila u dah btol2 berubah , and your love for me has changed to friendship, ill let u go.. we can be frend, but we cant be close fren, becoz it will give me hope, that thing will be back as it is.that is how much i love u.
